Oh, what a voyage it has been.
Seven whole years, coming full circle, with more growth and transformation than I ever could have expected. It happened in some of the most beautiful ways, and even now I still struggle to put all of it into words.
I arrived as a curious tourist, and I leave as someone changed in mind, spirit, and heart.
No matter where I was in life or how I traveled when I first set foot in Hawaiʻi years ago, I always carried one intention with me. I wanted to meet Native Hawaiians. I wanted to hear the language, to experience hula, and to understand something deeper than what is usually shown to the outside world. More than anything, I just wanted to meet them. At the time, I thought there were so few Hawaiians left, and that the language was nearly gone. I could not have been more wrong.
Kanaka Maoli still carry the ongoing pain of the western world on these islands. But let no one forget, Kanaka Maoli are still here. They practice their culture, speak their language, cultivate their kalo in a lo’i, dance their hula, and remain steadfast on their ʻāina.
Through curiosity, patience, and growth as a creator, I was blessed to be welcomed into cultural spaces, from working in the loʻi to stomping my feet on a hula mound. In those spaces, and through those experiences, I came to understand that I was being shaped too. I was becoming more grounded, more humble, more aware, and more pono in the way I move through the world.
This writing can only share a tiny fraction of what these seven years have truly meant. But what I can say with certainty is that I carry immense gratitude, respect, and love for Kanaka Maoli, because they entrusted me with their time, their teachings, and their space. I did not change Hawaiʻi. Hawaiʻi changed me.
At the time of writing this, I am already more than halfway away from the islands, with my rent and life there now behind me, on my way to spend time with my ʻohana before what comes next. In that time and space, I will finally be able to begin sharing the deeper work I have carried with me from Hawaiʻi, work that reflects far more than a small glimpse of what I experienced and learned.
This is still a hard post to write, because part of me still cannot believe I am no longer there. But the bigger picture behind why I left carries its own value, and that value is deeply tied to giving back in the best way I know how.
Mahalo kanaka
Mahalo tupuna
Mahalo aina
Mahalo Hawai’i
A hui mau 💙 see you, ALWAYS🌺
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